My dog is a jerk, but we're working on it.

My dog is a jerk.

The Jerk. Sideways. Because I'm technologically challenged. Very.

His name is Huar Huar and we brought him over to the UK from China, he was a jerk before we brought him over here, but 6 months in British quarantine has given him PTSD and made him into even more of a jerk.

See, I've watched enough Caesar Milan to know that the problem is me. And Paul. Mostly Paul. But I still think that deep down, my dog is just a jerk. Here's why:

He:

• Growls at the kids
• Nips at the kids
• Tries to eat anyone that comes to the door
• pees on stuff
• just to be an asshole
• Anger poops
• Makes a point to puke all over me whenever he's in the car
• Bites our friend Roy but is totally cool with homeless squatters sleeping in our back yard. Ass.

But:

• We've had him for so long and he's always been my best bud
• he saved us from being robbed / murdered in China more than once
• he keeps the cat in check

So, at 11 years old for him and 31 years old for me, we're for the very first time going to try to train the dog.

And the kids. You know what? Fuck it. We're just going to try training everybody around here.