Prescription for Disaster

Sunday, 31 July 2011

I may be an unfit parent - carrying both at once

This has been one of the most stressful things about having twins for us - how do you carry them around? Do you leave one in the car? Use the stroller everytime we go from the car to the house? Strap one to the front of my body and the other to the back everytime we need to prep for transport? Wear a coat with hanging straps and leave it to the twins to hold on themselves like koalas?

We started with laying them both on the ground tummy down and then scooping them up into each arm like footballs. I'll even go so far as to admit (*looks around for CPS workers*) that if they are wearing sleepers or the onesies that button up -  in a pinch we'll pick them up by the back of their outfit and haul them throughout the house like carrier bags. They love it.

I was really impressed with myself though when we were in Canada and I had to get them both out of the car at once. I parked at my father in law's house, left the kids in the car and ran into the house to yell for help getting them in ( clearly I get very stressed about transfers! ). Nobody heard me so I ran back to the car to comfort the twins as they were upset at being left alone in the car. They were both screaming like banshees for me - so I took one out of her car seat, held her on my hip and went round to the other side of the car and opened the door to comfort the other one, but I couldn't get her out. I was going to put the one I was holding onto the grass, grab the other one, have them both on the grass and do the carrier bag trick, but there were so many mosquitos that I couldn't put Twin A on the ground to be devoured and I was already starting to pale from the amount of blood those suckers were getting from my exposed legs while standing there ( I freaking hate mosquitoes! ) so anyway, panic set in, time was of the essence and I had a thought - if a war-amp one-armed single mother can get her child out of a car seat and pick them up ( not that I have ever seen this, I'm just assuming that surely such mothers do exist and also assume that they've dealt successfully with car seats and the lot ) then surely I could too!

So, pretending to be a one-armed war-amp, I clutched one twin tightly on my left hip while I reached in with my right hand, expertly navigated the car seat straps with only one hand, reached in with both my arm and my right hip (it was a youtube moment in the making, let me tell you) and triumphantly pinned the other twin against my right hip for leverage and lifted her out of the car. Proud as a peacock I shut the car door with my knee like a freaking ninja and walked right into my father in law's house where Paul was sitting on the sofa - at which point he scooped up a dangling twin, gave me a peck on the cheek and asked me why I hadn't brought in the diaper bag.

Had I not been holding the other twin at the moment I may have decked him.

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